- Time: August Bank Holiday
- Location: Earby Youth Hostel, Lancashire
- Mission Objective: Conquer Roger Moor
It wasn’t the most promising start to our mission: the green hills around Earby were topped with a steel grey sky that loomed overhead. Our first objective was the summit of Pinhaw Beacon. At 388m it wasn’t exactly a high-stakes mission of the type given out by M to the agents of MI5, but with the clouds pushing down there was a distinct feeling that time was not on our side.
The hike up Pinhaw was followed by a hike down Pinhaw, and in the humidity it was hard to avoid raising a bit of a sweat. None of the cool, calm elegance of James Bond, and spy-like stealth wasn’t really on the cards as we clomped across the moor in our hefty boots. Despite the gloomy weather we had good views over Earby. Our only witnesses were the crows: brooding and watchful like Spectre Agents reporting back to Ernst Stavro Blofeld. Thus observed we skirted Bleara Moor and climbed up Scald Bank to Kelbrook Moor where we found our true objective – Roger Moor.
Finally, the glowering clouds released their burden and we were forced to don rustling waterproofs. If only Q-Branch had found a more elegant solution. At this point a smooth get away in an Aston Martin would have been most desirable, but sadly no such thing was available, and it was left to us to make our own way back down to the village. This many miles into our walk our descent was not the athletic lope of a military trained spy, but more of the soggy shuffle of a damp walker with achy knees. By the time we got back down to Earby we were tired and chilled, so it was a relief when we burst into The Barn. Slamming our money on the bar it was not a vodka martini we went for, but a good old-fashioned pint and a scone.
Quietly dripping onto the floor, we moved upstairs to the private mezzanine lounge to dry off and relax, content in the knowledge that our mission was accomplished.
Ali
A Startling Discovery
It was a still afternoon and I really only had lunch on my mind. We walked across a field of long grass with an eye on a shady patch for an impromptu picnic. Hares are masters of stealth; unlike rabbits that bolt at the first sign of danger, a hare’s primary defence is its camouflage. They press themselves flat into a small depression in the ground known as a 'form', freezing completely and trusting their earth-toned fur to keep them invisible.
It was only as my boot hovered inches above the grass that the ground seemed to suddenly detonate. In an explosion of brown fur and long, black-tipped ears, the hare launched itself from its hiding spot. I even felt it brush against my boot as it literally hared off across the field. Boy did it make me jump, but then they are the UK’s fastest land mammal.
Ali