CYHA NEWS

DOUBLE, DOUBLE COD SHOCKER!!!

February saw a dramatic rise in fish prices as North Sea cod populations plummetted! Experts are baffled! However we, at the CYHA News have received disturbing information from an industry insider. "It all happened so fast," said Mr Wet Haddock, 21, of Hastings, "one minute we were all swimming along happily, then I hear a cry of "double cod" and the next thing we know is this big net surging through the water!" A spokesman from the Blue Dolphin (purveyors of fine fish 'n' chips to the intensely greedy) refused to comment on specific cases, but did admit that there had been a slight surge in demand when a certain YHA local group visited the area. When pressed further he declared that fat porkers who order double portions were no fault of his, and refused to be held responsible. Latest reports indicate that the Charles Peters' lounge will be picketted by angry mobs of cod, haddock and rock eel, on 1st April, but only if it rains.

Well we booted out Aneurin Bevan pretty much straight away, and Charlie Chaplin didn't last all that long. George Washington's notorious bad breath meant that everyone else jumped out of their own accord, and Boudicca's early stand against opression was rated far less than Mozart's ability to fart in time to any tune. What am I talking about? Well what else could it be but Jim's Balloon debate! Meaningful discussion meant that DaVinci was rated marginally above Faraday , who was esteemed greater than James Cook (it was postulated that if Cook hadn't discovered Australia we wouldn't have Neighbours or Kylie Minogue).

An evening of culture doled out by the Chelmsford Theatre Workshop was eagerly lapped up by several of our members. Much of the audience was made up of reluctant youths, obviously studying it for their GCSEs. But if you like spooky goings-on like witches & ghosts, bloody decapitations and reputedly the world's first ever 'knock-knock' joke, then it's definitely the show for you!

Many thanks to Chris for a very entertaining evening of geodes, lava, fossils and batholiths. Fancy much of Scotland coming from Greenland - I always thought the Scots an odd race!

The event was again well attended with the usual alcoholics and miscreants. CYHA members were amply represented by Robert, Tim, Andrew, Tom, Gerry et al. Additional moral support was lent by my ex-GEC work chums (who are mainly ex-GEC themselves!) and Karl "The Unstoppable Love Machine" Nelson

and his friends.

Unsurprisingly, large volumes of beer were guzzled and haute cuisine was

supplied by McDs. I successfully managed to buy the World's most expensive beer at £3.36 pint (Hoegaarden). Many Belgian beers were consumed in the final pub before we all melted away into the night, happy, content and heading for an uncertain train journey back home.

Nick Wickenden from Chelmsford Museum gave a fascinating talk on Roman Chelmsford, all about the founding of the town after the Boudicca uprising. We discovered that Lorna lives at the heart of the ancient Roman town, just a few yards from the bath house, and there was a Roman villa near George's at Chignal St. James. They both volunteered there gardens for excavation, but Nick didn't seem too keen!